2010 Accomplishments and 2011 Goals

I have not accomplished nearly as much in 2010 as I had hoped, but I did accomplish a number of things from my bucket list. I decided to take this blog to write down each of the things off of my bucket list that I compleated & the date I compleated the goal on (I date everything I tick off of my list). I do need to update my list though and remove a few things that simply are not possible (or at least in my control to add), and add a few new goals I have. After I share the things I accomplished this year, I will discribe a few things I hope to accomplish in 2011 (not list off different things I want to do, but I may list a little). So here is what I accomplished in 2010:

Buy and Read All of Rob Bell's Books 27-6-10
Read Drops Like Stars A Few Thoughts On Creativity and Suffering 14-3-10
Read Sex God 27-4-10
Read Jesus Wants To Save Christians 15-2-10
Read Velvet Elvis 23-1-10
Read The Poor Will Be Glad 27-6-10
Buy & Read The Darkest England & The Way Back In 21-5-10
Buy & Read The Entire Emily Series By Katie Maxwell 9-12-10
The Year My Life Went Down The Loo 6-8-10
They Wear What Under Their Kilts 5-9-10
Whats French For Ew 6-10-10
Taming of The Dru 28-11-10
Life Love & The Persuit of Hotties 9-12-10
Beth Moore: Stepping Up: A Journey Through The Psalms of Ascent 13-2-10
Beth More: Living Free 27-5-10
Buy & Read The God Who Is There By Francis Schaeffer  29-7-10
Read at least one book a month for a year 9-12-10
Buy a Tamagatchi 26-3-10
Buy a Black Denali North Face Fleece Jacket 5-10-10
Buy a Paramore Tee 3-5-10
Keep a Blog (at least 5 months) 31-12-10
Have pet guinea pigs 24-4-10
Participate in a March for Charity (Crop Walk For Hunger) 3-10-10
Watch the USA & England World Cup Game on Telle 12-6-10
Decourate my own apartment 20-6-10

That is all I did in 2010. In 2010 my main goals are to move to Colorado, work on my tech degree for a better job, seek out a stronger faith and hopefully work through at least one of the Beth Moor Bible Studies each month of the year. I have a few other goals on my list I have began in 2010 and will hopefully continue or finish in 2011. I would also like to keep getting in better shape and keep growing my hair longer. I also want to buy my new MAC I have been waiting forever for. 2010 has not been the best year. It has actually been quite depressing reading through many of my blogs over the 2010 year... I will not set my expectation incredibly high because it never seams to happen & I don't want to let myself down, but 2010... I'm ready to end. Ready for a new beginning. Happy 2011 Everyone!! My next update will be next year!!!! :) See you on the other side...

RAYE

Seeking Faith

I am not really religious... No matter how much I may want to be, my faith is very screwed up. Sometimes I have no idea what I believe, and after a hard year I have the desire in my heart, but very little knowledge of what is real and what is only a feeling. What directions are right to take and what is wrong. And where I can find peace and contentment in practise. I was looking at churches in Littleton Colorado online so I could get an idea of where I wanted to go before I moved there (I usually do this, and usually the church my gut tells me to go to is usually the right choice... actually it has always been the right choice). This time the church I was most drawn to and expirenced peace when looking at the page was Pax Christi Catholic Church. I am personally not Catholic, but my background has been close to this. At least 500 times in the last five years I have at one point or another considered converting to Roman Catholic, but I have always dismissed the idea. But I find myself considering it again. If I do convert I have a feeling a lot of my prodastant friends will be very angry, as some have already expressed in their critisism at my mere consideration of it! I have been to Catholic mass before though and have always found it meaningful and deep. Also quite complex. I do not understand all of the sacrements etc and would still find a lot to learn. From what I have learned however is that much of what people think of the Catholic church is not true, and that many of the issues Prodastants have with the Catholic church are either due to misunderstanding of purpose of an act, or it was a practise that has been done away with centuries ago. Even things like "Catholics do not believe in birth control" I have found are not 100% do not do this type of rules. The main purpose of that "rule" if you will was implimented in 1968 at a time of the hippy movement with casual sex running wild. It was implemented to discourage improper use of birth control. There are many who still recognise hormonal birth control as medical treatments, and condoms used responsibly (say a couple already has 2 kids and can not afford anymore, there is no problem using one because ultimatly God has final control over it, and sex is for pro-creating AND pleasure). Those involved in sexual acts just have to be open to the fact it involves all of this and is not mutually exclusive when using Birth Control (who knew that looking into the context of what the pope says would be just as important). And the Catholic church is changing in many ways within itself, yet remains strong after close to 2,000 years while all the prodastant denominations seam to split every-which-way. Not to mention it is the largest religious group on earth, and soley funds over 3 BILLION charities worldwide, not to mention over 200,000 hospitals in the United States alone!
Well anyways the process of becoming Catholic involves a lot of study, faith discovery, and seeking while growing in the Catholic community. This can take from 9 months to 18 months depending on the person, on averege. Either way, seeking out a faith I feel sure and strong of, and can practice and enjoy is what I would really like. I would really like to be able to proudly claim a faith and practice with all my heart finding meaning in it. Pax Christi offers the becoming Catholic faith discovery class for free and I hope to begin it when I get to Littleton. It feels like a good thing to do. The right thing at this time. At least seek it out. That has to be a goal for 2011... Seek faith and meaning, learn more, do more Bible studies, and put my whole heart into it! That is what I want :)

RAYE

Nasty NASTY COLD :(



The BEST COLD MEDICINE EVER!

 I didn't update Christmas, or since I got back from holiday, but now that my computer is "fixed" I guess I can write a little. I have gone back to work, and not much has been exciting or interesting yet other than I have come down with a nasty nasty NASTY cold! I caught it from Chad, the one he had while I was away! It is terrible and doesn't really want to go away. I slept in until 4:30PM on Christmas just about. Chad's mum was sick on Christmas as well so we did not go to visit her until the day after! Chad and I did Christmas gifts at about 10:30 PM again this year (its becoming a tradition I think haha). I did not account for all the 24/7 stores closing Christmas Eve & Christmas though... Whatever! Chad and I watched Harry Potter 6 so now we can see the new one as soon as the Palace Thearter has it! I also got the DVD The Blind Side to Watch With Chad as soon as I am no longer sick, as of now I am sleeping a LOT! I don't really know what else to say... My cold is kind of distracting me... UGG!! Well I will say more later folks, Have a good one... I need more sleep,

RAYE

Holiday to Washington DC



Me in front of the Washington Monument in DC

 I made it back home after my holiday (no surprise- I didn't fly Delta this time...) It was good having a break away from work... that break was LONG PAST OVERDUE!! Some of the things I did on holiday were go shopping, help set up my parents Christmas tree, learn the basics of knitting, watch flims, and see the sights of places like Arlington National Cemetary, The monuments (my favourite is the World War 2 Memorial), The National Christmas Tree, Went to dinner for my parents 25th Anniversary, went to a science museum, saw part of the Smithsonian of American History, Watched the Nutcracker Ballet Performed by the Washington Ballet (third row seats), and I quite frankly didn't care that it was cold outside seeing a lot of this. The things I did not get to do were go inside the White House, inside the Washington monument, and inside the Pentagon. Oh well. I did get my picture taken next to each state name that I had live in at the WW2 Memorial plus Colorado (2011 should be great woot woot!). HAHA! I even had a stranger grab my ass on the escalator leaving the DC metro! One of the down sides to my trip I can think of would be the uncomfortableness of the bed I slept in oh yes... and the flight out there which of course I shared in my last blog. My computer is now fixed though (YAY!), but I still want a MAC because I don't trust a PC to stay fixed. HAHA! My suitcase arrived the next day as it was supposed to... and then the rest of my holiday just flew by! Hard to believe it really... Christmas will be soon. I have found Chad has hung out at my apartment while I was away seeing he left soda cans, cigarettes, and dirty klennex around my living room. Yuck! Anyway, I'm ready for another holiday... HAHA. That one went by SUPER FAST!

RAYE

I AM NEVER FLYING DELTA AGAIN! EVER!

Guess who finally made it to Washington DC?!? That's right... I did! Delta Airlines is officially the worst airline on the planet! Of course I am not going to make that claim without fully backing up my point for all of you, so let me explain the whole situation of my flight out here and after I tell you the sort of things I have gone through in the last 24 hours, I am sure several of you will be in agreement that you too never want to fly Delta again ever, even if they are offering the lowest fares.
It started out with my flight to Atlanta this morning. Aside from having the least amount of space on any aeroplane known to humankind, rude cheque in staff at the airport, no class, and our snacks in flight were sponsored by hotels, and having bad service on the flight, that was the GOOD part of the trip. After arriving in Atlanta and waiting a while for my connection, shortly before boarding they cancel the flight into Washington Reagen National Airport. Okay, we all need to rebook our flights and wait in a long line. We do not get to talk to any employee about this, they simply scan our ticket and print us our info for our next flight. Luckily I am told I make it on to the last flight of the day to Reagen. After my gate being changed a dozen times in the next few hours I hear that so far Delta has not ran a single flight between ATL airport and DCA airport from the earliest flight to present and ALL OF THEM had been cancelled so far, but they were pretty sure the rest of the flights would fly out. WRONG! At about 5:30-6PM sometime they announce ALL flights for the day had been cancelled into Reagen and we needed to go to customer service to rebook. After RUNNING along with thousands of others to reach customer service to rebook I reach the line. With a long line still in front of me I am informed that ALL flights for the day are full into Washington-Reagan, Washington-Dulles, AND Bultimore! At least on Delta. We would need to leave security and return to the main ticket counter where you cheque in to rebook our flights. I met a girl from Germany at customer service, and an 18 year old who attends college in Arizona who was travelling for the frist time alone who was scared and crying. Neither had any idea how to get to the main ticket counter, and having previously lived in Georgia and knowing that airport well, they followed me to the main ticket counter where we waited nearly an hour and a half! The college student rebooked into Richmond Virginia that night which worked out better for her anyway, and I believe the girl from Germany ended up renting a car to drive to Washington DC. When I got to the counter the lady said they had nothing I could fly to the same day unless I wanted to go to Virginia Beach, Newport News, Norfolk, or Richmond. She confirmed me on a flight for the next day and told me that even though I was in Atlanta for the night the airline would not be providing any hotel credits- that would only be available to rewards members in the amount of 25% off. In fact, even though I was confirmed for the 6:45AM flight to Reagen, the airline had the right to bump me off of that flight if a rewards member needed that seat. They wanted to make sure all the rewards members made it to their destination first (of course they don't want to pay any more in hotel stays than they need to). She said I was free to try another airline and to ask US AIRWAYS or AIRTRAN AIRWAYS to see if either of them had any open flights to Reagen, Dulles, or Baltimore. She said doing this however I would lose all money I had put towards my Delta ticket, because Delta tickets are not recognised for credit by anyone else. But unless I wanted to wait a few days in Atlanta with no hotel, that would be my best option. UGH! Well US Airways was not an option as their only flight was departing in 30 minutes, so I proceeded to the opposite terminal to ask AirTran if they had any flights open. They do have a 10:15PM flight expected to leave to Baltimore with plenty of seats available for $257! However this flight can only be booked over the phone they say. After calling the parrentals and explaining the situation they agree and decide it is best to buy the ticket, only the lady from AirTran says the flight can not be booked over the phone less than 4 hours before the flight takes off. Then they decide to try to wire me money through Western Union to purchase the flight at the airport using cash. The Western Union outside the security however is closing shortly and I am not able to re-enter security  to get the money because... TA-DAH... I don't have a confirmed valid flight for that day! The money will not go through anyways. I likely ran across between the terminals over and over in the next short time. In the last two minutes before the last possible minute I could cheque in for that AirTran flight, my father has success booking the ticket online. I have success getting out of Atlanta that night, and arrive in Baltimore just after midnight followed by an hour car ride to my destination. My bag of course does not arrive until the next day's flight that the airline requires it sends it on. But whatever... After a full day of chaos I am OUT of Atlanta... & I was beginning to forget how much I hate Georgia. I discovered later that it was ONLY DELTA who cancelled flights into DC that day and ONLY into Reagen. The other airlines made by with as much as a 30 minute delay. And this was all due to a dusting of snow?!? (just a couple inches)... REALLY. No other airline had ANY issues, nor did any other airport. Delta has really gone to shit! It has gotten terrible. I am really praying they go out of business and telling everyone else, if my story isn't enough encouragement, BOYCOTT THEM! I am, even if I have to pay double for any other airline. Heck my one way to Baltimore was about the cost of my entire round trip! Thank God I'm flying back on American Airlines.

RAYE

Why am I such a SLOB this Year?

I leave for holiday tomorrow! I am not packed at ALL yet though. I also finished my Christmas shopping and set up my tree yesterday. But before I leave for holiday I have really had to clean. I have noticed I have been more of a slob this year than any year before!
I found the most disgusting thing on my sofa yesterday! A BIG GOOPY MESS! Chad has helpped me clean the sofa and cushion but man its been RANK! I think it could have been BBQ sause but I don't know how it got there. I have had to shampoo the sofa like crazy. Its so nasty! My goal for 2011 probably should be to be cleaner after this year. After this at sompe point I am going to have to break out that sewing machine to make a sofa cover to protect my beautiful sofa!
I have so much cleaning left to do before my holiday. I hope my computer gets fixed while I'm there & I will have plenty of good stories to tell. 2011 is coming fast & I know good things are ahead so stay tuned! :)

RAYE

Colorado? Seriously :)



Telluride Colorado- aka Heaven on Earth

 It looks like a new door has been opened for me to move to Colorado in 2011. It was not the way I expected, or to the particular town I hoped, but I guess God opens doors mysteriously! The saddest part is I can not take Chad with me, so he has to find his own way there (which he says he will)... :( He has still encouraged me to go through with the move though saying its what is best for me. In Colorado, for a year or so, I would train in Medical Lab Technology at Arapahoe College in Littleton, Colorado. My friend Danielle Fulkerson from Georgia currently lives there as well with her family, so I would know at least one person there. when I am done training I would be able to go to a good job where I could eventually put myself through Uni at CU. It will be hard being away from Chad for a while, and then probably living an hour apart from him when he is in Colorado until my training is complete, but maybe this is the best thing for us. I love him so much maybe we just need to see where this road takes us. I am sure it will strengthen us both as individuals in the least, and God knows we need that! :)

RAYE

Life, Love, and the Persuit of Hotties

I have officially compleated my New Years Resolution to read a book a month every month each month of the year. This month I read the last of the books in the Emily series by Katie Maxwell. This book takes place ten months after the book before it did, and tells about the last part of Emily's senior year in High School, her graduation, and transition to University in Vancouver, British Columbia with her boyfriend Fang! Emily also takes a cruise to Alaska with Fang, which left me wanting to go on a cruise to Alaska, only if I go I do not want it to be an adventure like Emily's, because as always Emily continually finds trouble in her adventures no matter where in the world she goes! From breaking her arm in Vancouver on her graduation trip, a trip to the emergency room at a Canadian hospital where she and Dru attempt to sneak around to avoid a spinal tap, to Emily thinking Fang's spleen will rupture, to Emily getting high on Canadian pain killers at her graduation causing a major scene (as she last minute has to give the class graduation speech), to falling overboard on her cruise and Fang getting arrested in Alask, this book is nothing short of laughs beginning to end. The book is a fast read and one of my favourites in the series. I give it 5 of 5 stars :)

RAYE

Oh December, 2010 is Near its End!

Stella and Chloe

The picture is of my pet mouse Chloe. I bought her almost a month ago as a friend for Stella. I thik they really like eachother so I'm glad I got her.
I go to Washington DC on holiday in about a week. It is coming fast, hard to believe. I could use a break. Work is not giving me any hours and I hate it. My car is getting on my nerves and Chad has a major attitude. We argued all last weekend. I told him if his attitude doesn't improve though I will take off. I have had it with his attitude and drama!
As fo the future I am ready to seek God for the long term (whatever that means). I can tell Colorado is the right choice, but I don't know how to get there. I also looked at a discipleship trainiong school to grow again, although I'm not sure when or how that could happen. I guess time will reveal! I can't wait! Only one more book for this month then all of the books are compleated in finishing my 2010 new years resolution! In 2011 I hope to focus on all of the Bible studies I have not accomplished. I am already looking forward to a new (and hopefully better) 2011!

RAYE

November Miracle?

"Do not forget my teachings, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosparity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and humankind. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will keep your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honour the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, & your vats will brim over with new wine. My child, do not dispise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." -Proverbs 3:1-12

Maybe this is my miracle! Maybe this is my secret to a happier 2011. Maybe I need to seek the way not just ask my life to incorporate into God's plan. Maybe this is the secret I didn't have right. Maybe this is the miracle.

RAYE

Taming of The Dru

This is the fourth of five books in Katie Maxwell's Emily Series. The Taming of The Dru tells of Emily's last month living in England. Emily is not in school and takes a job for a month at a museum, but is disgusted to discover the job is labelling bones of dead birds! After having broken up with her boyfriend Devon in France, she can hardly wait for her friend Fang to return from New Zealand so she can make him her official boyfriend, only he comes home with a girlfriend named Audrey. Emily goes from a crying mess to trying to win him back, convince Audrey she is wrong for him, trying to set Audrey up with someone else, until eventually she decides to take Fang's words literally by "fighting for him" challenging Audrey to a sword fight using real swords at The Battle of Helms Deep st Never Neverland summer camp where Holly works. Emily deffinatly makes her last month in England interesting between work, Audrey, her friend Dru's visit from Seattle, and attempting a final exorcism on Dermontt (the ghost who has been haunting her underwear drawer this entire series since "The Year My Life Went Down The Loo"). The book is not the most interesting in the series, but funny all the same. It is worth a read, especially if you have read the rest of the series before it. I give it four stars.

RAYE

November Makes for the Boringist Month EVER!

I have nothing interesting to say this month! Period! I have only seen Chad a few times all month, I have been working on a puzzle to glue for Christmas to keep as a decouration for years to come. Its 1,000 pieces and very challenging. Thanksgiving I went to Chad's mums for dinner. Chad was exceptionally annoying most of the day. I just need to finish my November book and blog on it! I doubt November will bring a miracle at this point! Figures, PATHETIC! 2010 sucks anyway...

RAYE

Rest In Peace Janessa



RIP Janessa Beth Batchelor

19 March 1989- 21 November 2010

 My friend Janessa passed away tonight at 10:31PM EST at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Hospital. I would like to share a bit about this wonderful young lady I attended high school with. She was very smart, athletic, coofy, and an all around authentic good girl who will be missed by many. I remember bringing gum drops to Bible Study once junior year and Janessa thought it would be fun to throw them at everyone. The pastor and his wife found them months later. She was healthy her whole life, but shortly after moving to North Carolina she fell ill & was admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of the flu & strep throat, later phenomonia. At that point she was transfered from the local hospital she was at to the UNC hospital and put on a ventalator and fell into a drug induced coma. She was later diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Lukemia. She recieved one cycle of chemo and then was changed to a partial ventalator as things appeared to improve, but she could not recieve any further treatments as she was in renial failure, she has expirenced damage to each of her major organs on some level, was on a feeding tube, and was still largely unresponsive. Two weeks after being diagnosed with Lukemia, at age 23, she passed away. She will be missed by many. here is a link to her obituary: CLICK HERE

RAYE

Medical Bills = Money?

This is going to be another short blog. I have just been learning that if I itemise my medical and dental bills from 2010, whatever exceeds 7.5% of my annual income I get back in my tax return. At this rate the number is getting closer and closer to $2,000 (not there quite yet but will likely hit it) that I should get back. and I still need to see the dentist again and the chiropractor this friday (my joint disorder screwed up my back again). I can't wait for Friday for payday when I also go tanning and get the UV light my body lacks in winter for my joints to function. The money thing is good news though. I can make my credit card bill eventually disappear. I want to apply for the Discover Escape credit card to earn flyer miles too (and I will need a new credit card anyway cos once this credit card is paid off, I am cancelling it!!) Man... this is going to be a long week!!

RAYE

Meet Stella!

I got a new pet yesterday when I said goodbye to all the guinea pigs. This is my pet mouse Stella! Stella is the Italian word for star. I thought she was cute, and she will cost quite a bit less than the pigs did. She will smell less as well. She has really enjoyed playing in her running ball so far. She does bite, but it doesnt hurt too much, but she likes to poop in my hands and that can be nasty. Overall I think a mouse will be a much nicer & much less expensive pet. I am so happy about it. Isn't she cute?

RAYE

Goodbye Dear Piggies



Moe & I



My guinea pigs have officially gotten too expensive to care for. They eat too much (a ten pound bag of food every 5 days costing nearly $10 at cheapest), they make my apartment smell, and have attracted so many flies I can not even eat in my apartment without getting attacked. I can't even SIT without getting attacked! And they have become impossible to get rid of! Chad will not even come and visit me anymore!! It is sad, but it will be best for us all. I can keep my cage in Chad's storage shed & I will use my store credit to purchase the necessary things to downgrade to a cheaper pet. The 21st of October I will sell the babies to Pet World and they will take my adults to continue to breed. Change is in the air, and its coming soon...

                  



Ginger & I



Splodge & I



                

RAYE

What's French For Ew?

Stupid photo won't let me crop the picture...

This month I read the next installment in the Emily series by Katie Maxwell. In this book Emily goes to France for two weeks over spring break to try to learn French after faking it in her first two terms of school. Of course she would not be Emily Williams unless she caused major mayhem in Paris! It all begins when she gets stuck carrying a fake crying babydoll around as part of a school project because she failed the chance she had at turning the baby back over to the school on time. In Paris, between being robbed by Gammins, getting locked in Notre Dame overnight, having a major rollerblading accident involving a bunch of people, and having an (adventerous) canal boat ride- to say the least- this book only gets stranger the longer it goes... Emily also turns seventeen while in Paris, where her boyfriend Devon visits her. She plans to have sex with him, but will she? This book is by far the strangest in the series so far, and while not my favourite in the series, is still a good read, and great for a good laugh. I give it 4 stars.

RAYE

ALASKA! AND FUTURE THOUGHTS!

I have had a lot of time to think about the future. Let's start with undergrad University. I am not sure if I want to do the double major or not. Maybe I will just minor in Italian if I can get pretty darned close to fluent from it and focus on Biochemistry for a major & spend less time in sucky school. It is really language fluency I really want to show off on my dental school application anyway.I need to review French and learn Spanish, and the time I wouldn't be doing a double major I can work towards acing my DAT. As far as dental school, I may or may not specailise in orthodontics. I may just do general dentistry. I want to provide for my family someday, but I can make plenty of money in general dentistry, and the less time in school is more time to spend with them! I could also still do teeth whitening and veneers as a general dentist as well as set up an area in my office for children to do work for them. It is all a possibility.
Another crazy thought I have had is Alaska! I don't know if I will practise my career here, but I might. I will have to ask my husband about it after dental school. Chad and I have talked about it now. Alaska has a lot of major bonuses... Firstly Alaska has a major need for dentists. In the lower 48 states most dentists make around $143K a year. In parts of Alaska however, you can make from $800K to a MILLION dollars a year! Not that money is my focus, but Chad also wants to run an animal rescue preserve. In Alaska he would have plenty of land that we could buy him at a low cost (cheaper than in the lower 48) so he could run it and use some of my extra money from dentistry to help maintain it. Also the cost of living is lower in parts of Alaska. Huge homes that cost millions in the lower 48 states are less than 400K in Alaska. As the economy suffers in a variety of jobs in the lower 48, Alaska is doing well. So what if it gets cold? Growing up in Vermont I expirenced similar temperatures, so it shouldn't be awful! Still no idea where I actually want to practise, but its possible... Today I bought the uber cool new jacket by North Face I always wanted! Still looking & applying for new jobs so wish me luck :)

RAYE

Sacrifices! Pretty Much My Life Story!

Group at the Cropwalk!

My life is basically a series of being patient and making multiple sacrifices. Its horrible! Not only can I not get my computer when I planned (will take longer to post these than planned but who reads my blog anyway???) But also I have to give up my holiday! Other things? I have lost a LOT of friends this year... Many I guess I really don't care about, but some I thought were really good friends decided I did not matter to them anymore because of stupid issues. Its upsetting but I guess it really shows you who matters, and it makes me glad to have fake people out of my life. I don't need them. When I get married someday, maybe a small wedding is best, and I will only invite people who really matter.
I am also looking for a new job. I think it will be better for me, Chad, and everyone if I had one. Casey at work got fired, but Zach the mamager has already hired someone new so we won't be getting many extra hours. Pray to GOD I find something fast.
That's another thing I want to change! I want to grow spiritually and regain some happiness. I want to put more of my life into others and do some good. Much of this got inspired from seeing the film Jesus Camp which used to only make me mad. Some parts of the film still do make me mad, but it made me want to do better, and only with the help of God. The Cropwalk for Hunger is this Sunday with  the church! (Will add photo to this blog after)... Its a start! Please pray for good things!

RAYE

If Its Not One Thing... Its Another...

Chad's kitty Alice is also glad he is home :)

MY TICKET COSTS $121 DAMN DOLLARS!! I AM NOT HAPPY!! It looks like I will barely survive this month! And my medical bill is $1,151.00!!! If I don't go to DC, my parents might be able to try to help pay it for my Christmas gift! If I can find a way to get that paid off and my whole credit card, I don't need another Christmas or Birthday gift for like... FOREVER! I am getting my new computer tho in October (on a loan payment plan) and will be able to use it to run a business! I need this computer to both help me publish my writing and to record my music and run a recording label. I am pretty sure I can make that work! More Tacos and frozen dinners for a while though... :( I am DETERMINED to fix this somehow!
Chad got home just after midnight Sunday! Sunday was amazing! It was great seeing and talking to him and being with him. I think the time apart did us good. There was a great level of communication I felt so close to him. I'm constantly reminded of how much I love him. It was probably my favourite memory of the two of us to date. If it was always like that I would want to be married now, alas it is not... It was still a great way to end the weekend before the chaos began again of course...

RAYE

More Piggie Babies & a Car Wreck! COME HOME CHAD!!

One of Moes babies only a day or two old

Moe had her piggy babies on Tuesday! Chad was still here then. She has six but one died and I was devistated. Chad helped take it out of the cage for me. I've been running out of food and money though so Wednesday (Chad left, and during a tornado no doubt) after work I got food.The next day I had to use my last $1.20 to drive to PetWorld across the city to use my store credit for piggy food cos I was all out! But PetWorld decided to be closed that day until noon! So it was all for nothing! Larry, a guy at Taco Shop, offered to take me on my break from my double so I could get food so they didn't die! I fed them the food I got plus old burger buns last minute before they would go in shock and die! But now Splodge recently had her babies and that makes NINE living babies plus three adults! UGG! TOTAL CHAOS! My mum wire transfered me $40 to last til payday to get petrol so I wouldn't have to keep walking to work!
Well today was my first car wreck on my way to work! NOT COOL! I was turning left on Harry Street & nobody was there all the way back to Webb Road, so I decided to turn out. After I was in the turn, this lady was coming at me (she either pulled out of the grocery store car park or sped up) I saw her on the phone & we each saw eachother & we each breaked but she shill hit me. I sort of hit her too but she knocked my car the whole other direction. I can't open my front passenger door anymore or pop my hood/bonnet that well (it is bent and the fender is knocked to the side). My left light and blinker "broke" but still work... I just need to tape them. Her car lost its front bumper. Nobody got hurt tho... not even a scratch... so we were lucky! The cops said it was my fault because I was turning even though 1) she wasn't there before I turned & 2) she hit me, & 3) She was on her phone! So I got a ticket! LOVELY! Luckily insurance will cover her damages and my car is still drivable! Guess what my overtime cheque goes to?!? SHIT! If its not one thing its another... This week has been eventful! I'm ready for Chad to get home...

RAYE

No- I Don't Plan on Getting Married soon Thanx! UGH!

Laci and I chillin at her house :)

Such a reminder today that I don't want to get married anytime soon! In fact I don't want to talk about it, I just had to say that! It seems as soon as things go well something blows up and reminds me exactly why I should NOT get married yet! But I'm actually okay with it! Chad will be gone camping four days (15-19 September) for his Bluegrass festival & I will miss him, but I know its for the best! Time apart may just do us some good!
Life is crazy! It consists of working overtime, & working out! And money will STILL be tight til payday! UGH! SUXXXXXX!!! I'm just on my countdown til I get my MAC... And hopefully things will look up... Its not ALL bad though, I'm just ready for a serious change...

RAYE

They Wear What Under Their Kilts?

In my book for September Emily and her friend Holly take a trip to Scotland for a month for school work expirence on a sheep farm. The book is fairly funny at parts and a fast read. In the book the girls also meet a "Scottish Love God" and compete for his attention to see who snogs him first. Emily and Holly have plenty of funny moments from working with the sheep,getting in trouble at castles, and stealing a two headed hedgehog (if that doesn't say enough right there) haha. The book left me saying "Oh My Crod!", wanting to learn to knit a sweater, and travel to Scotland myself. You really feel like you are there some of the time... But to find out what they wear under their kilts, pick up the book and read it. I give it 4 stars :)

RAYE

Oh August... GO AWAY!!

My new hair coloured by Chad's mum :)

I am so ready for winter to get here! I can't wait to get my MAC and a new jacket! I may be going to DC in December, and I hope to move to Colorado next year! Maybe a ski trip! I am ready to get on with it! I had issues with Chad this month, but I think we will be okay down the road. I have also been sick for two weeks and I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight that I am now underweight. I even had to stop working out!
Chad's mum dyed my hair today and it looks better than before! Every picture of it though does not accuratly show the colour! But its great. I am now starting to feel better and looking forward to the future- Uni, dental school, life in Colorado! I can't wait! Rent is so high I wanna cry tho! But Boulder Colorado wasn't named the best place to live in America for nothing!
I also took an evaluation to see what dental schools would best suit me and where I'd most likely be accepted. I revised the list and here are the 12 schools I want to apply to in the order that I like them:
1) University of Colorado School of Dentistry- Denver, CO
2) Ohio State University School of Dentistry- Columbus, OH
3) University of Minnesota School of Dentistry- Minneapolis, MN
4) Boston University School of Dental Medicine- Boston, MA
5) University of Southern California School of Dentistry- Los Angeles, CA
6) New York University College of Dentistry- New York, NY
7) Nova Southeastern University College of Dental Medicine- Fort Lauderdale, FL
8) Tufts University School of Dental Medicine- Boston, MA
9) Loma Linda University School of Dentistry- Loma Linda, CA
10) University of the Pacific School of Dentistry- San Francisco, CA
11) Temple University School of Dentistry- Philadelphia, PA
12) University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry- Rochester, NY

I am fairly confident I can get in someplace. I hope to encourage myself to get good grades with rewards in undergrad. I know I will be paying out the butt for dental school, but I want this so bad I will do it! :) I can't wait to get everything back on track, maybe move to Colorado & just get on with it! Yay!

RAYE

God I hate Coppers! And I HATE KANSAS!!

I finally paid off my speeding ticket today but damn was it unfair. First off the speed limit here was 40 the day before. I take this road daily! It was late at night and I was the only one on the road when I got pulled over. I didn't even know why I was pulled over because I was driving 41! He said the speed limit was 35 due to construction (yet I was not in the construction zone yet) so after being a dick to me he gave me a ticket! The didn't tell me how much it was, just gave me a number to call and told me I had ten days to pay! Well it took like 10 days for the dumb state to be able to tell me how much the ticket cost! By then I only had a short time to be able to pay, but it turns out the dumb cop put the wrong address as to where it happened on the ticket (almost 2 miles south of where the incident took place). The speed limit was only 30 there, so that was what he wrote on the ticket. The ticket said I was driving 11 over and I wasn't! I was pissed! I needed to take the ticket to court to get out of it, but I was still driving on out of state plates & an out of state liscence so I would get nailed with several hundred more dollars in fines if I tried taking it to court and was caught, so reluctantly I paid the dumb ticket! All $116 damn dollars! But due to it taking forever and a day for them to tell me the cost of the ticket, I had to pay the damn thing over the phone cos I had no time left  to mail it in without them suspending my liscence (at least in the state of Kansas, cos they are not allowed to suspend an out of state liscence). All I can say is FU Kansas! FU Coppers! UGHHH!!! Glad That's over!!

RAYE

The Year My Life Went Down The Loo

This month I read the book "The Year My Life Went Down The Loo" by Katie Maxwell. This was the first book in the Emily series, and I had read the book before over a year ago but decided to read it again before reading the rest of the Emily series over the rest of this year.
In this book Emily Williams is not excited to move to England from Seattle for a year. She gets set back a year in school, has to wear an ugly school uniform, and has a hard time adjusting to life across the pond. Her mum and father (who insists being called "brother") and sister Bess set to embarass her, and an underwear ghost fondeling her bras makes her want to go home. But three hot guys and the chance to meet her favourite actor make her want to stay. The book is comprised of emails where she tells her friend Dru back in Seattle about all her expirences, including many mishaps, disasters, and hillarious chaos. It covers lots of topics about relationships and growing up too (ummm sex...) so this book would be more appropriate for a teenager and young adults. This book is a fast read and very funny. I give it 5 stars.

RAYE

The God Who Is There

My book for July was "The God Who Is There" by Francis A Schaeffer. I chose to read this because I had read another book by him titled "How Should We Then Live" in January 2007 as part of a class for school & it was really good. This book was similar to the writing style of his other book- DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND! At times it was boring because as always Schaeffer writes so one must think a lot about what he is saying. He uses a lot of big words, or words in a context other than what we are accustomed to. He covers topics such as philosophy, music, art, theology, and explains how after a point we are under a line of despair looking for meaning. He tells us how this happened then leads to what it means for the Christian, and how to utilise this in evangelism. His point was that the first part of evangelism is not about Christ, but about "God is There."
The book overall can be good, and probably should be read by Christians, but the context of the book is very deep. I suggest reading this book with a dictionary and taking your time reading it. It would also help to read this book with a group and discuss it to get more out of it. The book will be hard to understand in quite a few parts if you have nothing above a high school education, and due to its level of difficulty is why I have to give this book two stars.

RAYE

Everybody Cries, and Everybody Hurts

I got a new bank account at Bank of The West

This month has been rough in so many ways, and I have wanted to give up so many times. Doubting I am cared for and doubting everything. It is hard when you pray for a miracle everyday & never see one. Being upset everyday for over a year and not seeing a way out! I try so hard & nothing. I used to be insanely happy with friends and life was a lot better, but I let people walk all over me... And one day one person took it too far and the nail was in the coffin. Ever since people have been driving it further in. Its time to take it out and use every bit of faith for it to improve. Heal, cry, rejoyce. Be myself.
Darren at work may look at my computer to see why it says my proxy server is screwed up, and I still hope for a new job fast. Can't lose faith! I sold my first litter of guinea pigs today and have six left. Three weeks til the next litter goes and then I have a month before the next litter is born.
Well I can't really write more because I need to finish my July book! Hope it gets better! Peace Out!

RAYE

Calcium is Evil

I pretty much fainted at work today on my long day, so I was not able to work. I just avoided a hospital stay. After a bunch of tests, my blood tests determined my body is producing its own calcium which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't producing so much... but it is... it is evil! It is producing so much calcium it is causing my body to shut itself off. So I will need to see a doctor in a couple weeks to find out why its happening & how to stop it. It won't be a cheap or easy fix but what else can I do? On the bright side I will likely avoid cancer and osteoporosis. In the meantime I need low calcium diet and will hopefully be okay with genaric pain pills... This month is just so FANTISTIC I know right... *eye roll*

RAYE

JULY SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!!!

All nine guinea pigs in their cage!

I can't stand July so far... This has been the worst month of the year! My hours at work were cut from 35 to 30 to 26 and I'm about to die! Pray that new job is here FAST! I applied to AT THE BEACH! for full time work and hope I get SOMETHING! I'm not the tannest in the world but am trying with the money I can to tan so I hope I get an interview and a job! That would help a LOT! In fact, a new job period would be a miracle...
I am also having problems with my bank (Bank of America) again and will close those accounts soon after the issues of cutting my credit line... Blocking me from $567 and then literally altering my account info costing me $56... I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! Just not worth it, so I should be going to Bank of The West soon!
My guinea pigs are also a problem. The only pet shop that will take them is the shop I got them from and they won't take Ginger so I need to find some place to neuter him, only I have no idea how to pay for it! It never ends!
Oh, and for some reason Verizon Wireless customer service is awful... What else? I still have a busted computer... So let's pray I get a new job ASAP! Then that the rest will work out! I am over desperate now... I need a miracle... Like NOW! I just do... That's all I can say.

RAYE

Updates and All That Stuff

One of Moe's new babies

I really need a new computer! I am sorry all my blogs have delayed postings to anyone who notices... The MAC computer will hopefully be mine November to January sometime... I hope sooner though!
Moe had her babies and I now have nine guinea pigs, and both Splodge and Moe are pregnant again since I confirmed Ginger IS a male! I still do not know if I can keep Ginger & I need to find homes for the babies. I may keep at least two! I am also looking for a teacup chihuahua. Those can be be expensive, but I hope eventually someday right?! If I want to take a holiday I should also quite often be able to take it with me! I can't wait for a new job, my MAC, and to move to Colorado... It will happen eventually, I just need to learn patience, keep working out, and work more on my wishlist/ bucket list... Progress is coming!

RAYE

July so far = NOT my cup of tea!!

Let's just say it- So far my summer SUCKS! My computer is honestly a real piece of crap as I have handwritten blogs dated back to Sex God, unposted due to dead internet (now that you can see all these blogs I can finally post them all online- 23 December- but the dates on the blogs are all being posted as the orriginal dates I have written them). I can't wait to get a new job and buy my MAC! My hours are being cut due to Chad's "buddy" Ben (who I can't stand) and there is a long story with lots of drama I won't get into on here. I posted my resume to Chad's computer however, so I could apply for jobs there and I sent it to over 20+ places. I already got at least one rejection, but man am I praying for a better job fast! Pray with me! I am miserable at mine! June was so busy with everything that I am needing to get back at my Patriarchs study! I am reading "The God Who is There" by Francis A Schaeffer for July! I read "How Should We Then Live" by him in January 2007 as part of a Humanities class and it mentioned this book a lot, so I finally decided to read it! I have not been to a church in a while that I have really wanted to be a part of, so I am looking to re-trace my roots and go to an ELCA  Lutheran Church where I decided to be a Christian, and combine that with Messianic Jewish I love! I am re-learning more Hebrew (I used to know more than this). I hope to go to Remenant Israel (the Messianic Synogouge where I used to go to) Friday night, and try a Lutheran church Sunday if I wake up! I also want to re-start a prayer journal like I did in High School.
I have many errands I need to do, like get my oil changed ASAP (its been what 7 months now?!?) and figure out what to do with my continual guinea pig litters and find homes for the babies! Its WAY too many to keep! I'm also behind in writing friends letters! Wow!
Forth of July was boring! Chad & I went to Oklahoma at night but it was raining so we didn't get to set off fireworks on our way home... And we got home at 3AM so he didn't see the NEMO film like he said he would, but he saw it last night so I could stop whining & nagging... YAY! Haha! I knew it would only be a matter of time...
Well I have more errands to run. I will keep ya posted... PS, The picture on the blog is of a pretty sunset from last night :)

RAYE

Goals to Reach By August 2011

Half of 2010 is over and so far I have kept my 2 new years resolutions- 1) Read a book a month each month of the year, and 2) Work to get in better shape. I have made progress on my bucket list as well... But I need to narrow my focus on some goals... So by August 2011 I want to accomplish these eight goals:

1) Find a new job so I can save money to move to Colorado
2) Get in even better shape
3) Buy a MacBook Pro
4) Start recording Music online
5) Actually move to Colorado and get a good job there
6) Take my road trip out west
7) Learn more guitar
8) Get ready to recieve dental assistant training

At This point in time these are my top goals. Take a look back here in 13 months to see if I accomplish them.

RAYE

The Poor Will Be Glad

6 Billion people in the world live on less than 5 US Dollars, or 3.30 GBP a month! 2 Billion people live on less than 1 US dollar (or .66 GBP) a day. Last month I read "The Darkest England and the Way Back In" which focused on poverty in the UK and the rest of the western world. For June I read "The Poor Will Be Glad" by Peter Greer and Phil Smith which focused primarily on the lowest income group in third world countries. The book explained how poor people save money and borrow (especially since mant have no access to banks which are only for the rich requiring $320 to open the account - Twice the annual income in many African countries). The book was largely about microfinance, how it works, how poor people obtain business loans, and about the microfinance business loans having a very high success rate. The book stated that many well intended Christian charities that do missions or give needed items to the poor are causing long term harm with dependancy. The book explains how this microfinancein giving the poor loans in amounts of even $50 can be better help to them to help themselves out of poverty. I overall liked this book but it could be a bit boring at parts. If you are a Christian and are business minded you will love it, or you should read it for a new perspective on missions to the poorest of the poor. If you are looking for a book on microfinance and how the poorest people handle their money, read this! This book is not for everyone, but I would reccommend trying it! For a younger reader, the book may be more difficult to understand at some parts. This book is great for adults & Christian university students seeking a degree in missions or business. My ranking is 3 1/2 stars out of 5.

RAYE

One Year... With My Love

One year ago today was my first night out at the apartment of my love! I can not believe it. It has gone by so fast but at the same time it has been a LONG year! At times he frustrates me so much I can't stand it (like even today) but in the end I love him dearly! He is probably the most important person in my life! Without him I wouldn't know what to do and nobody could ever take his place... People ask when I am getting married and I have no plans to right now... But I do love him and one day think I would love to... When we are both ready if I get that lucky. I have discovered the "ideal man" does not exhist. Even the greatest man will still frustrate you and upset you sometimes, but if you love him it is worth it. And he will always be himself! You can't have unrealistic expectations. Chad has proven to be one I can love and trust. I know I can always go to him for support whether together or apart in all of life's trials. He strengthens my faith when I have none & he teaches me patience. I love you so much Chad and look forward to more life adventures with you...

RAYE

Parents Visit

My parents have been visiting the last week and it has been more crazy. Everything started before their visit when I threw out my back and needed to see a chiropractor the day they arrived. We were supposed to visit some people in Nebraska, but because their flight was cancelled and they had to re-book a later flight, we were not able to go. Maybe that was a good thing though because it took almost the whole week for my back to heal after I got my hips and spine compleatly realligned! My parents spoiled me when they were here. They bought me a lot that I dod not even ask for! My mum reorginised my place to fit all my things (I now have a telly, SEGA & PS1 as well, AND my guitar). Lilly-Ann brought by a sewing machine too. My guinea pig had babies, and I took my first trip to the zoo around here (picture is of poppie & his twin the chimp). I need to see if I can get Chad to to something exciting with me! Now that the parrentals are gone I have to figure out where everything in my apartment is, finish my June book, work on the guinea pig situation, & find a new job! WOW! The month (and half of 2010) is almost over! Go me!! It's been a crazy one- oh yes!

RAYE

The (Surprise) New Additions...

I Had a surprise today... a CRAZY story! After I got off work I fed my three guinea pigs, played guitar, then went out to dinner at Hooters with the fam. When we got back ,I played the parrentals a few guitar chords, but then I put my guitar down and looked in my guinea pig cage... Was I seeing things... "Oh shit! there are six guinea pigs" I said!Splodge had three babies. At first we questioned if one of my girls was a boy, but then decided through how long I had them and gestation period that Splodge was already pregnant when I got her. The babies were very surprising. Born with eyes open and able to move around and eat adult food (in addition to nursing). I love them so much already, but unless I get a bigger cage soon, I can't keep six... and I think Moe might also be pregnant! Geez... I need a small animal vet to sex them all and be sure Splodge is okay after giving birth... either way this will surely be a new adventure! The picture is of Splodge and her new three babies! :)

RAYE

WORLD CUP!!! :) And, could this month be more busy?!

The picture taken is of Kandace and I after the World cup game England vs USA. Kandace and I wanted England to win, but they tied. I think we were the only ones at the bar cheering for England. I must say though if England wants to do well this world cup at ALL they really need to step up their game... Some of that game felt like I was watching school boys play, not a proffessional world sport event! In all honnestly I thought BOTH teams played worse than expected!

This month is SO BUSY! Double shifts, birthday, World Cup, cleaning for my parents to visit, keeping up on my blog and reading, hopefully going to Nebraska, looking for a new job, dealing with a computer that does not work (what is this the third virus this year?!?). Sorry I am so scatter brained everyone! Parents are coming in a few days and my apartment is a disaster! I am just posting to tell everyone if I die, this is why... I am so busy! I hope July calms down... FOR REAL!!!

RAYE

Birthday!

Today I turned 22! It feels weird thinking it feels like I just turned 21, but at the same time so much has happened in the last year. My birthday was not really celebrated at all! I got an ice cream cake from Chad, but aside from that I just slept in & worked. I have not been able to buy the new MacBook Pro I wanted, and I still need a new job, but it's hard to find when my current computer acts like shit! Happy birthday to me... Life is so fascinating... Can't wait til the World Cup starts SOON!! :) Go England 2010!

RAYE

The Darkest England And The Way Back In

What can I say about my May book? It is awesome! Gary Bishop, the author of this book works in ministry in Openshaw Manchester England on the Eden project with some of England's poorest! This book includes many stories he has encountered with the poor in this areathat I can not begin to summerise because they are simply too powerful. He tells what life is like for many of the poor in the western world (not just in England, but it can be applied to other countries like America as well). He discussed issues like limmited transportation, captive debt, illiteracy, drop outs from school, drug and alcohol addictions being a strong part of these people's lives, & the best way to minister to these people is to physically relocate ourselves to their world. We may not understand addictions or whatnot but we need to best understand these people's lives to help them & not live on outerlying districts & simply commute in. I found this book very relatable to many people I work with and daily encounter in my community in the midwest USA, & see the truth to the points and vivid stories. This is a book for all, but if you do not live in England, you may only find it through an inter-library loan from huge libraries, or to have it imported from the UK via amazon.co.uk or ebay.co.uk for a copy in the Americas. This book has not been published in countries outside the United Kingdom, however it is well worth the effort to locate a copy to read, and will not be a disappointment! My rating: An excellent full 5 stars :)

RAYE

Sex God

I am very behind on my book blogs so I am not going to write a really long blog on my April book "Sex God" by Rob Bell. I am also going to say less because I do not want to review too much. I want to say enough that you read the book, and you should. This was probably my least favourite Rob Bell book though. I did not think it was bad, and I agrees with most of his points, it was just- weird! Some key points Rob Bell makes is "This is always about that." He says we can only talk about God or sex for so long before we talk about the other because they are connected. The book explored many connections between sex and God, and speaks of God being sexual. It was nice reading a Christian book on sex that was not about sexual abstinence. The book discusses sex as a connection and how meaningless hookups can be less sexual that a person connecting to another person through relationship without sex, because sex was designed for connection. The book also discusses Love. The book tells of how we can choose to love others or accept or reject anothers love. The book talks of love and ache and how they are universal because God feels the same emotions in relation to us- Sex and God and Love- all connected. The book says the love of God is more than rules; it compels us to love others. And when we don't feel loved we don't need to give ourselves away to feel love. We already carry the agape love of God with us always. Rob Bell also says men who sleep with many women give themselves the idea of being a man without having to be one. The book also discussed sex in the ancient world as being marriage and if you had sex you were considdered married. It even told how raped women would have to marry their raper, or he would pay a virgin price for her anyway. The book concluded that a couple who does too much too soon rarely endures the test of time and we must persue intamacy. Being naked. Seeing all of a person for who they are and taking it in. Do as God does when he looks at us, cos sex is the closest a human to human relationship can be in the right context. The closest intamacy to God & human... Cos sex and God are connected. This is about that. My rating: 4 Stars!

RAYE