The Last Few Months

Chad's Mum dyed my hair dark & I LOVEEE IT! :)

I would like to give a major apology to everyone for having not updated my blog since January!! Seeing as it is near the end of May this is quite crazy for even me!! And of all nights I am choosing to update, it is after working two double shifts the last two days in a row and getting our asses kicked ALL DAY! Hahaha... to make this easy I am going to break this blog down into sections to describe lots of different things and hopefully it will also make my blog much easier to read! And with any luck I will figure out how to manage keeping it slightly more up to date than I have (maybe one or two posts a month at least) from now on... So where shall we begin??
COMPUTER AND TECHNOLOGY- Shortly after my last blog, my PC kicked the bucket... AGAIN! So I was out without a computer AGAIN! In April I bought my MAC after quite a few months of being without a computer so I would have a reliable one for school and so far the computer has worked brilliant! I paid for most of it outright but put about $750 on a payment plan (which I have already paid off about $80). The computer in total cost about $1,600! I have not gotten much chance to begin to use it to record my music yet though with all the working I have been doing! When my father came to visit me in the beginning of May he fixed my PC so that is working again now too... of course working for how long is questionable but yeah... I guess it technically works for now...
MY JOB- I am still working at the same place... WOO HOO!! haha just kidding, but really since Ben is managing the store now, most weeks I get hours out the ASS!! Loads of overtime... in the first few months of the year I had already made half of what I did all last year... this is GOOD NEWS!! :) My finances are not GREAT but overall I've been doing much better... making all my bills... having a little left over to spend, AND money left to save! :) But I am still paying off my computer and my credit card...
SCHOOL, COLORADO, AND THE LIKE- Well Chad had the idea that I go to school in Colorado anyway so I was going to try to... I found out I could go to University of Northern Colorado for pretty much for free (there was an issue with AIMS college getting enough in loans that I was going to)... I had the money saved up for the move etc but then the apartment I was going to rent fell through and I had trouble finding another place, so ultimately I postponed the move until December and I will be attending Butler College here instead until then... I was going to start in summer term but there was an issue with my financial aid going through in time, so instead I will just begin in August. I will be getting a degree in secondary education science (and will likely take up a specific focus in physics when in Colorado). I have given a MAJOR summary of these events as if i went into detail it would take up a LOT of time to write it all).
MY FATHERS VISIT- Well I have health coverage now... and a real mattress on my bed! That was my birthday gift from them... Aside from him fixing my computer we spent time shopping, and went to Chuckie Cheese to play games :)
CHURCH- As many have known over the last year I have had many issues with the church and have been restless with them ever since... I for a while considered becoming Catholic but have ultimately decided not to as there were many key things I was not okay with. I have recently stumbled upon the Unitarian church and have loved what I have seen so far... I feel thus far it has really helped me make my peace with God. I bought a book on the Unitarian church to read to find out more and ultimately will help me make that decision for certain!
WHAT IS TO COME- My birthday is coming up soon so I just bought myself a lot of stuff on my amazon wish-list that all went on sale! :) Exciting... Other than that I have mostly been working on long term plans... I have been trying to figure out how to save up for a down payment on a house and where I want to live... Chad has expressed interest in moving out of the USA for more freedoms etc since poker is no longer allowed online and the country is just falling apart more & more... I could make a good life back in England when I'm done so that is also a possibility... You never know... I really like the city of Leeds :) Who knows though... that's not needed to be decided for a while... Other than that just working on my life now... learning to get better at cleaning my apartment and maintaining all of that before I would ever get married, have kids, or even get another pet... But we'll see... There is a lot to come so I hope to keep you posted soon... Sorry it has been so long! Please keep reading...

RAYE

This WOULD Be My Luck!!

A lot has happened since my last post and I have not enjoyed practically any of it. So far 2011 has not been a good year for me and there is not a whole lot to look forward to anymore either. You know how I was going to move to Colorado this year? Yeah, well that fell through. Turns out they have an open admission policy but you have to apply for spots in the MLT programme and take an Accuplacer test to get in. They judge you by points and those with the highest points get in! Well I am missing two Anatomy & Physiology classes, a Chemistry class, and a Medical Terminology class in order to have the most points to make me compeditive AND I have yet to take that test & it all would have been needed to be done by 31 March to be compeditive to start in late August. Impossible for me!! So it looks like I'm stuck here for another year. I can attend Wichita State University for a year to get those classes done as well as more to transfer towards my Biochemistry degree at Colorado University. After the year here going to school FOR FREE and recieving housing money I can properly go to Arapahoe College in Littleton for the MLT and after I'm done as I work I can attend Colorado University all on loans. I may even enroll in a graduate school right after that on a loan & then just pay off all the loans once I'm done! I figured people will also be more interested in hiring an MLY without a 4 year degree who is currently seeking a 4 year degree!! I can't wait though to move to Colorado. Chad and I have talked about buying a house in Loveland and the future things... all hypothetical of course... :)
On other notice... I have been sick with insane asthma attacks pretty much all day. I went to the doctor and recieved a breathing treatment etc but turns out I'm not sick... my asthma has just gotten very bad. So I'm on a secondary inhaler at least temporarily (we hope), as well as a pill medication AND a refill of my old type of inhaller all crazy expensive! So now money is insanely tight again... At least I am getting more hours at work with Amanda on Maturnity leave... I neede MORE MONEY... I can't wait to be in a better financial position.
I guess I have to make the most of being stuck here. It snowed a bit today but not enough... When I'm in Colorado I wanna ski, snow shoe, snowboard, snowmobile, and have a grand old time... I may never want to leave!! At least I get my new laptop this year though to start my writing and music to hopefully make some money :) I can't start RCIA to become Catholic til Autumn around here though... So I guess we will see where this year takes me...

RAYE

Seeking Faith

I am not really religious... No matter how much I may want to be, my faith is very screwed up. Sometimes I have no idea what I believe, and after a hard year I have the desire in my heart, but very little knowledge of what is real and what is only a feeling. What directions are right to take and what is wrong. And where I can find peace and contentment in practise. I was looking at churches in Littleton Colorado online so I could get an idea of where I wanted to go before I moved there (I usually do this, and usually the church my gut tells me to go to is usually the right choice... actually it has always been the right choice). This time the church I was most drawn to and expirenced peace when looking at the page was Pax Christi Catholic Church. I am personally not Catholic, but my background has been close to this. At least 500 times in the last five years I have at one point or another considered converting to Roman Catholic, but I have always dismissed the idea. But I find myself considering it again. If I do convert I have a feeling a lot of my prodastant friends will be very angry, as some have already expressed in their critisism at my mere consideration of it! I have been to Catholic mass before though and have always found it meaningful and deep. Also quite complex. I do not understand all of the sacrements etc and would still find a lot to learn. From what I have learned however is that much of what people think of the Catholic church is not true, and that many of the issues Prodastants have with the Catholic church are either due to misunderstanding of purpose of an act, or it was a practise that has been done away with centuries ago. Even things like "Catholics do not believe in birth control" I have found are not 100% do not do this type of rules. The main purpose of that "rule" if you will was implimented in 1968 at a time of the hippy movement with casual sex running wild. It was implemented to discourage improper use of birth control. There are many who still recognise hormonal birth control as medical treatments, and condoms used responsibly (say a couple already has 2 kids and can not afford anymore, there is no problem using one because ultimatly God has final control over it, and sex is for pro-creating AND pleasure). Those involved in sexual acts just have to be open to the fact it involves all of this and is not mutually exclusive when using Birth Control (who knew that looking into the context of what the pope says would be just as important). And the Catholic church is changing in many ways within itself, yet remains strong after close to 2,000 years while all the prodastant denominations seam to split every-which-way. Not to mention it is the largest religious group on earth, and soley funds over 3 BILLION charities worldwide, not to mention over 200,000 hospitals in the United States alone!
Well anyways the process of becoming Catholic involves a lot of study, faith discovery, and seeking while growing in the Catholic community. This can take from 9 months to 18 months depending on the person, on averege. Either way, seeking out a faith I feel sure and strong of, and can practice and enjoy is what I would really like. I would really like to be able to proudly claim a faith and practice with all my heart finding meaning in it. Pax Christi offers the becoming Catholic faith discovery class for free and I hope to begin it when I get to Littleton. It feels like a good thing to do. The right thing at this time. At least seek it out. That has to be a goal for 2011... Seek faith and meaning, learn more, do more Bible studies, and put my whole heart into it! That is what I want :)

RAYE

Colorado? Seriously :)



Telluride Colorado- aka Heaven on Earth

 It looks like a new door has been opened for me to move to Colorado in 2011. It was not the way I expected, or to the particular town I hoped, but I guess God opens doors mysteriously! The saddest part is I can not take Chad with me, so he has to find his own way there (which he says he will)... :( He has still encouraged me to go through with the move though saying its what is best for me. In Colorado, for a year or so, I would train in Medical Lab Technology at Arapahoe College in Littleton, Colorado. My friend Danielle Fulkerson from Georgia currently lives there as well with her family, so I would know at least one person there. when I am done training I would be able to go to a good job where I could eventually put myself through Uni at CU. It will be hard being away from Chad for a while, and then probably living an hour apart from him when he is in Colorado until my training is complete, but maybe this is the best thing for us. I love him so much maybe we just need to see where this road takes us. I am sure it will strengthen us both as individuals in the least, and God knows we need that! :)

RAYE

Oh December, 2010 is Near its End!

Stella and Chloe

The picture is of my pet mouse Chloe. I bought her almost a month ago as a friend for Stella. I thik they really like eachother so I'm glad I got her.
I go to Washington DC on holiday in about a week. It is coming fast, hard to believe. I could use a break. Work is not giving me any hours and I hate it. My car is getting on my nerves and Chad has a major attitude. We argued all last weekend. I told him if his attitude doesn't improve though I will take off. I have had it with his attitude and drama!
As fo the future I am ready to seek God for the long term (whatever that means). I can tell Colorado is the right choice, but I don't know how to get there. I also looked at a discipleship trainiong school to grow again, although I'm not sure when or how that could happen. I guess time will reveal! I can't wait! Only one more book for this month then all of the books are compleated in finishing my 2010 new years resolution! In 2011 I hope to focus on all of the Bible studies I have not accomplished. I am already looking forward to a new (and hopefully better) 2011!

RAYE

Oh August... GO AWAY!!

My new hair coloured by Chad's mum :)

I am so ready for winter to get here! I can't wait to get my MAC and a new jacket! I may be going to DC in December, and I hope to move to Colorado next year! Maybe a ski trip! I am ready to get on with it! I had issues with Chad this month, but I think we will be okay down the road. I have also been sick for two weeks and I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight that I am now underweight. I even had to stop working out!
Chad's mum dyed my hair today and it looks better than before! Every picture of it though does not accuratly show the colour! But its great. I am now starting to feel better and looking forward to the future- Uni, dental school, life in Colorado! I can't wait! Rent is so high I wanna cry tho! But Boulder Colorado wasn't named the best place to live in America for nothing!
I also took an evaluation to see what dental schools would best suit me and where I'd most likely be accepted. I revised the list and here are the 12 schools I want to apply to in the order that I like them:
1) University of Colorado School of Dentistry- Denver, CO
2) Ohio State University School of Dentistry- Columbus, OH
3) University of Minnesota School of Dentistry- Minneapolis, MN
4) Boston University School of Dental Medicine- Boston, MA
5) University of Southern California School of Dentistry- Los Angeles, CA
6) New York University College of Dentistry- New York, NY
7) Nova Southeastern University College of Dental Medicine- Fort Lauderdale, FL
8) Tufts University School of Dental Medicine- Boston, MA
9) Loma Linda University School of Dentistry- Loma Linda, CA
10) University of the Pacific School of Dentistry- San Francisco, CA
11) Temple University School of Dentistry- Philadelphia, PA
12) University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry- Rochester, NY

I am fairly confident I can get in someplace. I hope to encourage myself to get good grades with rewards in undergrad. I know I will be paying out the butt for dental school, but I want this so bad I will do it! :) I can't wait to get everything back on track, maybe move to Colorado & just get on with it! Yay!

RAYE

The American Dream!!

I know that people do not even really READ this blog much since few exciting things ever happen to me. So I just decided to write this for fun... Just a few thoughts I have.

I have often said the American Dream does not exist, which for the most part, it doesn't! People never reach their dreams. But maybe its nothing more than a dream because people are too afraid if they persue it, the dream will die if they fail... But what is life to constantly yearn... GO FOR IT!!!

I came up with my own "American Dream" to share if I decide to stay in the USA! I want to go to dental school to study to be a dentist/orthodontist. I want to get a house in the mountains (I really like Estes Park, CO... the town I have spent most of my time in Colorado at- also the town pictured- in a photo I took when I was there in 2005). I want a large home (but not too large cos I don't want to spend ALL my money on a house...) I wpould hope to commute to Boulder or Denver to work (long commute, but for the wages I can expect, Its WORTH IT!!! And not uncommon to travel that far to work... :) I would like to have a family and send my kids to really good private Catholic schools in the city. I want to take regualar holidays with my kids and family as well to Europe & on cruises etc... At my house I want a hot tub and tanning bed (not as expensive as some thing) and other "expensive" toys... and by expensive I don't mean TOO expensive... maybe a billiards table?! haha. If I'm with Chad he'd like that! I even want a nice auto (mostly for looks haha) maybe a Corvette or something... those are dropping drastically in price. My dream car is actually a Mercedes Benz SL600 but I REFUSE to spend 127K on an automobile no matter WHAT I make haha. I also think a beach house in Malibu or something would be nice... or in Florida... that I can go to a few times a year & the rest of the time rent out to tourists :). I would like to write books and publish them for fun (which I hope to start on as soon as I get a new computer)... and sell music I write as just hobbies :) But I also want to donate to charities... like Compassion International, Cancer Research/St. Judes Hospital, Animal Enviornmental programmes etc... & missions projects with a church... I still think regardless of ANYTHING we have we need to give back to others regardless of how much we have. My lifelong goal is to be an orthodontist and do general dental work. :) Life is an adventure That I hope to live out fully & this is just a picture of my bigger dream... Eh, I can dream can't I?!

RAYE

Lets Get On With It...

Well so far I have had one job interview... I need a job really bad and soon!! I have a lit of other places I can apply to if I can ever trust this computer to allow me to fill out the applications. I have had issues with my computer acting like a piece of shit for quite some time now. I can hardly wait til I can buy a MAC and stop dealing with all of this PC drama. I have found that several of the places that are hiring are not advertising that they are... But I am determined to find a job soon. It is quite easy to feel discouraged but you just have to press on sometimes I guess. I really hope the interview I had already will lead to a job though. I drove to Broadway Ave. and am I guess employed by this place called Apprentice Personel which is not exactly a real job... Basically it is a place you call everyday at 0545 to see if any work is available and if there is you work, and if not you are out of luck. Most of the people who are in the office are drug addicts who use the work to buy drugs and you can tell many of them live on the street. I know I can do better than this, so I am not really interested in sticking with this that long. I just hope I have a job really really REALLY soon!!

I have been thinking about things I would like to study in school someday as I have been in this position as well. I think it would be amazing to study dental assisting since I am only a matter of 12 weeks from compleation and $2,595 USD is all it will cost me to be certified. The school had various sites around Colorado so I could pick whatever works out the best for me.

Its hard not to think about the future even though I would really like to try to enjoy the present the best I can. I have had thoughts about going to Uni years down the road but I am never 100% certain what I would like to study. I have had thoughts of being a dentist someday (possibly for the NHS) but I do not know. I am doubtful I am even intelligent enough to be accepted to a dental school. And I would love to study Italian at Uni, I would just need a science to help be accepted to Dental school. I have always made A grades in science I just do not know if I am smart enough. It has been a while since I studied any of that.

Right now I just want a job, to enjoy my life and have lots of adventures. I have begun to go back to church at First Presbyterian Church in downtown and have met some people including Lilly-Ann, Jill, Ashlet, Kathie, Amy, and a number of others I can not remember all the names to. I would really start to work on a Bible study or a book study that I had on my list of things to do before returning to school. I am doing a Sunday School Class called "Saving Jesus from the Church" taught by Pastor Kathie with the church, but I have a list of books and studies I would like to do on my own still.

I have been working on putting my Christmas Cards together (I know it is late but it has been difficult with the whole moving process). I hope I have a job really soon so I can have an address to send them from. I would really like to expirence life in one place for a bit seeing as I moved house what was it FOUR times in 2009?!? Way too crazy for me anyway!! All the same, Chad and I have been talking about moving to Colorado sometime... I am pretty sure it will happen eventually, I just need to not worry about it. It will happen when it is supposed to.

Overall I am just not happy with this rut I am in just yet. I am ready to get on with it... I am ready to have a job and feel settled. If I am fortunate, hopefully I can be employed within a week. I have a lot to do it is simply NUTS!!! Just continuing to pray and trust that things will be okay... I am ready to be settled.

I have loads of errands to do today, including looking for work and dropping by my dentists office for inquiries... I need to know how costly an exam will be and a cleaning. Hopefully we can have that figured out soon!! :)

Thats all for now... Peace Out A-Town =P

--RAYE