New Year, New Hopes, Fresh Start

I didn't get to see Chad over new years at all which was pretty sad. Not until about 10AM when I went over his place to nap after already having some sleep at my own place. I had a dream that I went on a holiday to Tahiti and it was the best holiday of my life. I did not want to leave!! I learned after I got up that the Japanese believe the first dream you have in the new year is supposed to reflect the sort of luck and fortune you have in the coming year. I hope that means good things for me! I hope in the years to come I can get financially stable, see the world, find myself and my faith, and establish a strong foundation. I hope I can make a place home! Have a family and have the exciting adventures I have wanted all along. Going to the beach, mountains for a ski trip, tour Europe or Australia, go through school, publish a book or CD after I have my MAC... Learn new things, meet ne people, speak new languages (especially Italian), learn new cultures... And find beauty in all things... Kind of like in this picture of Tahiti I found that reminds me of part of my dream... It really is a new year and a time to start over. Not every part of it may go as hoped, but I hope I above all find peace this year, and an adventure I can look back on years later saying what a ride... It was awesome... :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

RAYE

2010 Accomplishments and 2011 Goals

I have not accomplished nearly as much in 2010 as I had hoped, but I did accomplish a number of things from my bucket list. I decided to take this blog to write down each of the things off of my bucket list that I compleated & the date I compleated the goal on (I date everything I tick off of my list). I do need to update my list though and remove a few things that simply are not possible (or at least in my control to add), and add a few new goals I have. After I share the things I accomplished this year, I will discribe a few things I hope to accomplish in 2011 (not list off different things I want to do, but I may list a little). So here is what I accomplished in 2010:

Buy and Read All of Rob Bell's Books 27-6-10
Read Drops Like Stars A Few Thoughts On Creativity and Suffering 14-3-10
Read Sex God 27-4-10
Read Jesus Wants To Save Christians 15-2-10
Read Velvet Elvis 23-1-10
Read The Poor Will Be Glad 27-6-10
Buy & Read The Darkest England & The Way Back In 21-5-10
Buy & Read The Entire Emily Series By Katie Maxwell 9-12-10
The Year My Life Went Down The Loo 6-8-10
They Wear What Under Their Kilts 5-9-10
Whats French For Ew 6-10-10
Taming of The Dru 28-11-10
Life Love & The Persuit of Hotties 9-12-10
Beth Moore: Stepping Up: A Journey Through The Psalms of Ascent 13-2-10
Beth More: Living Free 27-5-10
Buy & Read The God Who Is There By Francis Schaeffer  29-7-10
Read at least one book a month for a year 9-12-10
Buy a Tamagatchi 26-3-10
Buy a Black Denali North Face Fleece Jacket 5-10-10
Buy a Paramore Tee 3-5-10
Keep a Blog (at least 5 months) 31-12-10
Have pet guinea pigs 24-4-10
Participate in a March for Charity (Crop Walk For Hunger) 3-10-10
Watch the USA & England World Cup Game on Telle 12-6-10
Decourate my own apartment 20-6-10

That is all I did in 2010. In 2010 my main goals are to move to Colorado, work on my tech degree for a better job, seek out a stronger faith and hopefully work through at least one of the Beth Moor Bible Studies each month of the year. I have a few other goals on my list I have began in 2010 and will hopefully continue or finish in 2011. I would also like to keep getting in better shape and keep growing my hair longer. I also want to buy my new MAC I have been waiting forever for. 2010 has not been the best year. It has actually been quite depressing reading through many of my blogs over the 2010 year... I will not set my expectation incredibly high because it never seams to happen & I don't want to let myself down, but 2010... I'm ready to end. Ready for a new beginning. Happy 2011 Everyone!! My next update will be next year!!!! :) See you on the other side...

RAYE

Seeking Faith

I am not really religious... No matter how much I may want to be, my faith is very screwed up. Sometimes I have no idea what I believe, and after a hard year I have the desire in my heart, but very little knowledge of what is real and what is only a feeling. What directions are right to take and what is wrong. And where I can find peace and contentment in practise. I was looking at churches in Littleton Colorado online so I could get an idea of where I wanted to go before I moved there (I usually do this, and usually the church my gut tells me to go to is usually the right choice... actually it has always been the right choice). This time the church I was most drawn to and expirenced peace when looking at the page was Pax Christi Catholic Church. I am personally not Catholic, but my background has been close to this. At least 500 times in the last five years I have at one point or another considered converting to Roman Catholic, but I have always dismissed the idea. But I find myself considering it again. If I do convert I have a feeling a lot of my prodastant friends will be very angry, as some have already expressed in their critisism at my mere consideration of it! I have been to Catholic mass before though and have always found it meaningful and deep. Also quite complex. I do not understand all of the sacrements etc and would still find a lot to learn. From what I have learned however is that much of what people think of the Catholic church is not true, and that many of the issues Prodastants have with the Catholic church are either due to misunderstanding of purpose of an act, or it was a practise that has been done away with centuries ago. Even things like "Catholics do not believe in birth control" I have found are not 100% do not do this type of rules. The main purpose of that "rule" if you will was implimented in 1968 at a time of the hippy movement with casual sex running wild. It was implemented to discourage improper use of birth control. There are many who still recognise hormonal birth control as medical treatments, and condoms used responsibly (say a couple already has 2 kids and can not afford anymore, there is no problem using one because ultimatly God has final control over it, and sex is for pro-creating AND pleasure). Those involved in sexual acts just have to be open to the fact it involves all of this and is not mutually exclusive when using Birth Control (who knew that looking into the context of what the pope says would be just as important). And the Catholic church is changing in many ways within itself, yet remains strong after close to 2,000 years while all the prodastant denominations seam to split every-which-way. Not to mention it is the largest religious group on earth, and soley funds over 3 BILLION charities worldwide, not to mention over 200,000 hospitals in the United States alone!
Well anyways the process of becoming Catholic involves a lot of study, faith discovery, and seeking while growing in the Catholic community. This can take from 9 months to 18 months depending on the person, on averege. Either way, seeking out a faith I feel sure and strong of, and can practice and enjoy is what I would really like. I would really like to be able to proudly claim a faith and practice with all my heart finding meaning in it. Pax Christi offers the becoming Catholic faith discovery class for free and I hope to begin it when I get to Littleton. It feels like a good thing to do. The right thing at this time. At least seek it out. That has to be a goal for 2011... Seek faith and meaning, learn more, do more Bible studies, and put my whole heart into it! That is what I want :)

RAYE

Colorado? Seriously :)



Telluride Colorado- aka Heaven on Earth

 It looks like a new door has been opened for me to move to Colorado in 2011. It was not the way I expected, or to the particular town I hoped, but I guess God opens doors mysteriously! The saddest part is I can not take Chad with me, so he has to find his own way there (which he says he will)... :( He has still encouraged me to go through with the move though saying its what is best for me. In Colorado, for a year or so, I would train in Medical Lab Technology at Arapahoe College in Littleton, Colorado. My friend Danielle Fulkerson from Georgia currently lives there as well with her family, so I would know at least one person there. when I am done training I would be able to go to a good job where I could eventually put myself through Uni at CU. It will be hard being away from Chad for a while, and then probably living an hour apart from him when he is in Colorado until my training is complete, but maybe this is the best thing for us. I love him so much maybe we just need to see where this road takes us. I am sure it will strengthen us both as individuals in the least, and God knows we need that! :)

RAYE

Oh December, 2010 is Near its End!

Stella and Chloe

The picture is of my pet mouse Chloe. I bought her almost a month ago as a friend for Stella. I thik they really like eachother so I'm glad I got her.
I go to Washington DC on holiday in about a week. It is coming fast, hard to believe. I could use a break. Work is not giving me any hours and I hate it. My car is getting on my nerves and Chad has a major attitude. We argued all last weekend. I told him if his attitude doesn't improve though I will take off. I have had it with his attitude and drama!
As fo the future I am ready to seek God for the long term (whatever that means). I can tell Colorado is the right choice, but I don't know how to get there. I also looked at a discipleship trainiong school to grow again, although I'm not sure when or how that could happen. I guess time will reveal! I can't wait! Only one more book for this month then all of the books are compleated in finishing my 2010 new years resolution! In 2011 I hope to focus on all of the Bible studies I have not accomplished. I am already looking forward to a new (and hopefully better) 2011!

RAYE

Goals to Reach By August 2011

Half of 2010 is over and so far I have kept my 2 new years resolutions- 1) Read a book a month each month of the year, and 2) Work to get in better shape. I have made progress on my bucket list as well... But I need to narrow my focus on some goals... So by August 2011 I want to accomplish these eight goals:

1) Find a new job so I can save money to move to Colorado
2) Get in even better shape
3) Buy a MacBook Pro
4) Start recording Music online
5) Actually move to Colorado and get a good job there
6) Take my road trip out west
7) Learn more guitar
8) Get ready to recieve dental assistant training

At This point in time these are my top goals. Take a look back here in 13 months to see if I accomplish them.

RAYE

Toto... Are You Sure its Kansas?!?

This is just a quick update since I gave most of my update the other day and not a whole lot has happened since then. I can say however Chad's automobile has died... AGAIN!! He thinks the alternator has a problem because it is clearly not just a battery issue. But hopefully he will have that fixed next week. In other news today I mostly just did more work on my Beth Moore Study book STEPPING UP and reading of my book for February. I looked a lot at my list of things I want to do before I go back to University and I realised I could probably finish at LEAST a third of those things on the list before 2011 hits if I work at it... and likely most of it by 2012 (except perhaps the craziest things of sorts like Trek the whole continent of Australia!!) haha. I have also been looking at beaches in Bermuda... The cost to go there is fairly low, and it is on my list!! I am thinking about a trip in summer 2011 possibly for my birthday if I have my finances straight then... Regardless, I'm sure my adventures will be loads of fun!! I just hope I have a job soon!!

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day!! I can not stay up too late cos I need to cheque if I can get a Post Office Box and hopefully get all that established, and prepare a cover letter for my resume for the job I had a lead on for Tuesday so hopefully that goes well... And I have to call about my government money, call the local court to establish that I am NOT a resident for there records (seams to be a confusion), and probably pay my credit card bill. Funnnnn Stufff.... I've also asked if my parents can ship me my guitar sometime... I hope to learn to play it & post some singing vids with it on youtube along with other music vids onces I get a working webcam!! :)

Lastly, I just have to say that this snowfall deffinatly puts me in a good mood. I hope to get a dumping like the east coast of the USA is getting!! It may not be much, but it is deffinatly a lot more than I have expirenced being in Kansas before... Just enough almost for me to ask... Toto... Are you sure that we are really REALLY in Kansas?!?! HAHAHAHA.... Hope you like my picture of the pretty snow, and have a good week everyone!! I hope to update again when I have more to say :) I'm back to downloading more music... Til Next Tyme...

RAYE